Just Say Yes
by Nightshade2412
Summary: "Just say yes to him. Go out with him once and then tell him he's not right for you. Then he'll leave you alone." Why didn't I find it that easy? (Lily/James) From seventh year romance, through the founding of the order, to the very end.
1. Moments

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter does not belong to me. It is the brainchild of J. and Warner Bros has also done great stuff with it. I am just a** ** _fan_** **fiction writer. Dialogue in the train scene is directly quoted from the books.**

I twist in front of the mirror, suddenly nervous.

"Do I look okay?" I ask my best friend, Marlene.

"You look lovely," she assures me. "Anyway, I thought you were just giving Potter what he wants so he leaves you alone? So it doesn't really matter. Unless," she smirks, "you're developing feelings for him after all?"

"No," I say. But it comes out a little bit quicker and higher pitched than I wanted.

I sigh and go to the door and reluctantly turn the handle. I had thought that this would never happen.

I am going on a date with James Potter.

 _First Year…_

"This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!"

Despite my sadness at Tuney's anger, I can't help a flicker of excitement at Sev's words, and as he starts to talk about the houses, I prepare to join in. But before I can ask what his preferred house is like, the boys on the other side interrupts.

"Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"

For the first time I look properly at him. He is slim, with messy black hair, expensive new robes and an air of cockiness that immediately makes me dislike him. Next to him is a boy with dark hair to his shoulders – he is handsome, but has the same arrogance. I immediately pin them as trouble makers.

The boys continue to argue. The messy-haired boy wants to be in something called Gryffindor. It sounds okay – for the brave – but Severus is disparaging.

"If you'd rather be brawny than brainy –"

"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" interrupts the other – Sirius, I think I heard him called.

The first laughs much too hard. I flush with anger.

"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment." I grab my luggage and stalk out, Sev close behind.

"Oooooo…" the two boys mock. I slam the door, their laughter ringing in my ears.

 _Third Year…_

I leap to my feet, cheering with the rest of the house. A Gryffindor victory against Hufflepuff! That puts us through to the Quidditch final against Ravenclaw!

"Come on Marlene, let's find Emmy to congratulate her." Emmeline Vance plays Chaser.

I pull my friend down out of the stands and we run onto the pitch to where the team was landing and pull Emmy into a hug as soon as her feet touch the ground. We aren't the only ones – around us the close friends of other players are doing the same.

We release her so she can join the team in a group hug, then we head up to the common room together. Knowing Potter and his friends, a party will soon be in full swing, with food and butterbeer stolen from the kitchens. I'm not going to complain.

Sure enough, before long, Potter and Black are staggering through the portrait hole laden with bottles, and other students rush to relieve them and set the food and drink on the tables. I press in, trying to reach past the mass of bodies to snag a butterbeer, cursing my height – or lack of it.

"Here, Evans." I glance round and see Potter holding one out to me.

"You haven't jinxed it, have you?" I ask, immediately suspicious.

"What? No! Marauder's honour." Seeing that I'm not completely convinced, he unscrews the cap and takes a gulp before handing it to me. "Happy?"

Since nothing seems to happen, I thank him and take it. The liquid immediately warms me.

"Oh, and Evans?" I look back up.

"Yeah?"

"Will you go out with me?"

I choke and try to catch the butterbeer before it can dribble down my top. I flush as I notice that the people around us have gone silent and are watching for my reaction. Several girls are glaring daggers at me – Potter is more popular than he deserves.

"P-pardon?" I stutter, wondering if I heard right.

"Go out with me, Lily." He ruffles his hair, making it just as messy as when he stepped off his broom not long ago.

"Sorry, Potter, but you're not really my type." I try to ignore the gasps from those who would kill to be in my place.

"Right." He ruffles his hair again, but this type it's more embarrassed than cocky. "Well… um… okay." He backs away awkwardly, turns, and leaves the common room. I can't help feeling a bit bad for him. But what really could I do? He's an arrogant bully and nothing he's ever done had given me the impression before that he might want to ask… that. Confused, I take my drink and find an armchair in front of one of the fires. I sit staring into the flames, lost in thought…

 _Fifth Year…_

I storm away from the lake, vision blurred by tears. I hear Potter shouting after me, but I don't look back. Right now all I want is to be alone. With that in mind, I enter the school and climb to the Astronomy Tower, using back passages wherever possible, trying to avoid teachers and students.

I finally reach it and stare out for a bit, but then I see the group by the lake and turn away. I collapse on the floor and cry until I have no more tears left.

Hours later, the door creaks open and comforting arms wrap around me.

"I can't believe Severus called me that," I choke.

"I know, Lily, I know," Marlene answers sadly. She strokes my hair and holds me until I calm down. "You've missed dinner."

I shrug, not really caring. Right now I just feel exhausted.

"Come on, Lils." Marlene supports me and leads me to a bathroom so I can wash my face. Then, even though it's still early and we have Transfiguration tomorrow, we go to the dormitories. I feel numb, cold, the world still spinning but for me, now that I've lost my best friend...

And it's partly James Potter's fault.

 _Sixth Year…_

The sunshine is enough to draw over half the school outside. Except for fifth and seventh years, exams are over. Marlene, Emmy, Mary and I race each other to the lake. Emmy just beats me, and the others aren't far behind.

Panting, we flop onto the grass. I lie down completely, staring up at the sky where there's not a cloud in sight.

"It's so hot!" I groan.

The other girls murmur agreement. Suddenly Marlene jumps to her feet and starts waving and shouting.

"Professor! Professor Kettleburn!"

I prop myself up on my elbows and look round. "What's wrong?"

She grins at me. "I have an idea. Hey, Professor!"

At last, she gets his attention and he comes over to us.

"Yes, Miss Mckinnon?"

"May we go swimming, sir?"

We catch on to the idea and stare at him with pleading eyes. Around us, other students hear and watch hopefully.

"You may, Miss Mckinnon." We all cheer and he smiles. "Please stay in the shallows and remember to watch out for Grindylow and other dangerous creatures."

I let the others pull me to my feet and we rush back up to our dormitories, joined by several others, though I notice that one group of first years was put off by the mention of dangerous creatures – they may not know what Grindylow are but they have heard of the Giant Squid.

We find our swimming costumes and change behind closed curtains. I pull on my mottled turquoise and white one-piece and help Mary plait her hair because she hates it getting in the way and tangled. I leave mine loose though – it's shorter, and I have to admit that it makes me feel like a mermaid when it floats around me in the water.

"Hurry up!" Emmy urges, her hand already on the door handle. I look back at her and gasp.

"You can't walk through the corridors like that!" Emmy is the most daring in a hot pink bikini.

She shrugs, but finds a towel and wraps it around herself. "Happy now, Miss Prefect?"

I roll my eyes, but nod, and find a sundress myself.

When we return to the lake, several students are already in the water, including – to my displeasure – the self-styled Marauders. They wolf-whistle as we reveal our costumes, and in revenge Marlene splashes them as we wade into the water. It's cold at first, but we're Gryffindors, so we're soon swimming full on. Emmy proposes a race, and none of us argue. The Marauders also join.

"Where to?" I ask.

"Out to Hagrid's boat and back," Emmy decides. When he realised how popular the idea was, Professor Kettleburn enlisted the young gamekeeper's help to patrol the waters. Hagrid's boat shows the limit of how far we are allowed to go. "Ready? Get set… Go!"

I power through the water, enjoying the cool pressure as it slips past my skin. I haven't been swimming for ages, but I used go all the time with Tuney, so now I'm able to stay in line with James and Sirius in the lead. By the time we reach the boat, Sirius has slipped behind, but James and I are still neck and neck.

He grins at me in that annoying way and I know I can't let him win. I try to find the reserves for another burst of speed.

Suddenly, I find myself dragged under. I kick and struggle enough to make my way back to the surface, but then I find myself attacked again. I let out a sharp scream before I am submerged again.

Grindylow. Okay, simple Revulsion Jinx. But with a sinking heart, I realise that I left my wand on the shore of the lake.

I flail and kick, trying to make it let go, but it has an iron kick, and now more are coming, and I'm getting light-headed, running out of oxygen, can't breathe…

Then I'm gasping for air as soon as my head breaks through the water, held up by strong arms.

Damn. It's Potter.

"Are you okay?" he asks, for once the arrogance gone – he actually sounds concerned.

"I'm fine," I say, and, grudgingly, "Thanks."

"You're welcome," he grins. "Though, you know, if you want to repay me…"

Mr Cocky is back.

"Potter!" I shriek, shoving him away. "For the last time, I am _not_ going to go out with you!"

"Aw, come on, flower! Anyway, it won't be the last time."

I splash him in the face for that and strike out for the shore. I've no hope of catching up with Sirius or Emmeline now, but if I can beat Potter I'll be happy.

He follows, cursing under his breath, but I took him by surprise and I arrive back ahead of him. We splash about while we wait for Peter, the weakest swimmer. Emmy turns somersaults in the water, and Potter dives.

Suddenly, I feel a grip on my legs again dragging me under. Grindylow again? I thought this was too shallow.

Worse. It's James Potter, ducking me in revenge. He releases me before I can kick him – shame, really…

"That's it, James Potter!" I shout, annoyed, and splash him right in his laughing face.

I grin in satisfaction at his shocked expression, only then he retaliates. It catches Sirius as well, and soon everyone is dragged into a massive water fight.

Finally, we stagger out and flop down on our towels. I cast a quick drying charm before the evaporating water can make me cold.

"Lily, your ankle," Peter suddenly says.

"What about it?" I ask, glancing down. "Oh…"

It's red and blistered from where the Grindylow seized it. I touch it gingerly. "Ow!"

Potter rushes over.

"It's okay," I tell him, and grab my wand. "Episkey!"

"Charms don't work on Grindylow-inflicted injuries," he tells me. "Hey, Remus! Do you have that healing salve?"

My favourite Marauder looks up from the book he is reading – he refused to join us in the lake. He rummages in his school bag and produces a small box containing a carved wooden pot and bandages. I wonder why he has it, but I don't complain.

Potter applies the ointment as gently as possible, but even so, every touch is painful. I try to keep silent, but the occasional gasp escapes, at which he always apologises.

He bandages my ankle tightly. It is painful at first, but when it fades to a dull ache the pressure is comforting.

"All done," he tells me, looking up into my eyes. "It should be completely healed after three days."

"Thank you," I say, trying to curb my hatred and sound sincere. It must have worked, because he smiles, and not even in the usual arrogant way.

"When you two lovebirds are quite done..." Sirius drawls lazily. I blush angrily and glare at him, which only seems to amuse him more, and open my mouth to reply, but Mary pipes up before I can.

"What are your plans for the holidays, Lily?"

"I'm spending the first week with my parents, but we're moving house to Little Whinging. They told me last night, but it slipped my mind. So, long story short, I need somewhere to sleep. Sorry it's such short notice, but can any of you offer me a place for that fortnight?"

"My house is always open to visitors," Potter says. "Sirius spends the holidays there anyway now. Any of you can come."

I nod politely, but turn my gaze on Emmy and Marlene, sending them a clear message – I do not intend to spend two weeks with my nemesis. My best friends exchange a look.

"I'm spending a week in Australia then, sorry Lily," Marlene says.

"My house is too small, especially as my brother will be home from uni," Mary says. Like me, she is the only sorcerer in her family. Emmy just shrugs at me.

"At this rate you'll be stuck with me, Evans," Potter says, trying not to sound too please and failing.

I groan and put my face in my hands.

"Hey, the others can come too. Mary, Emmy, and Marlene when she gets back from France. There's loads of room."

"That might not be so bad…" I allow.

"We'll owl our parents tonight," my friends promise.

Within a few days the responses return. Everyone except Peter can come.

I am stuck for two weeks with James Potter.

 **A.N. - I hope you enjoyed it! I apologise for any mistakes - please point them out to me even if they're only small. I'll try to update soon but please bear with me. Review pretty please!** ** _Constructive_** **criticism very welcome and I promise to take it into account. -Nightshade**


	2. Arrival

As the Hogwarts Express pulls into the platform, I join the others, pressed against the windows. We start waving as soon as we see our respective parents, and excited shouts fill the air.

I pull my friends into a group hug, even though we'll all see each other soon. Then the doors open and we step out.

I set my luggage down quickly, and submit happily to my parents' embraces.

"Where's Tuney?" I ask, disappointed.

"Waiting in the car," Dad says. I pout slightly, but I'm not surprised. She hates Platform 9 ¾, where wizardry is plain to see everywhere. "So you said you'd found somewhere to stay?"

I nod and look around, finding the Potters not far away and pointing them out. "There. They've invited all my friends to stay."

"Really? That's very generous of them."

Mrs Potter notices us looking and James leads them over.

"Mr and Mrs Evans? I do believe we have the pleasure of your daughter's company this summer," Mrs Potter says. I can't help liking her – she looks kind and jolly.

"Yes – so glad you could offer."

The adults continue to exchange pleasantries, but I am distracted by Sirius. He is clenching his fists so hard that his knuckles are white, and his expression is murderous. James follows my gaze, then looks to see what Sirius has spotted. "Oh…"

A woman leads the way, sneering unpleasantly, a man and a boy following whom I recognise as Regulus Black from the Slytherin Quidditch team, Sirius' younger brother.

"Hello, Mother," Sirius says stiffly.

"You are no son of mine!" she cackles.

"Why are you here then – to gloat?"

She sniffs and I realise that Sirius has it spot on. Our parents have gone silent and are watching the exchange, the Potters worried and my family confused.

"Still hanging about with blood traitors, boy? But I forgot – you are one yourself!" She cackles again.

"I'd rather be a blood traitor than a prejudiced old hag like yourself," Sirius retorts.

Her gaze falls on me and I try not to cringe away. "And what's this? A filthy Mudblood… and her filthy Muggle scum-"

"Take that back!" James roars, his wand suddenly in his hand. She just laughs again, and he opens his mouth to hex her.

I grab his wrist and try to force it down. "Potter, don't, it's not worth it."

He doesn't move for several seconds, breathing heavily, but eventually lowers his wand.

"Come, Walburga," Sirius' father says, who has been studiously ignoring us. The Blacks stalk off, Regulus following with a sheepish grimace at his brother.

"Sorry about that," Sirius says awkwardly.

"That's alright dear. Well, it was lovely meeting you, but we must be off," Mrs Potter tells my parents.

"See you next week, Evans," James says.

"Bye."

I lead my bewildered parents away, through the barrier and out to the car park.

"Tuney!" I cry enthusiastically as soon as I crawl inside our car. I pull her into a hug. She squirms, but I don't care. I miss my sister when I'm at school, despite our differences.

I feel rather nostalgic as we pull into our driveway in Spinners End. Next term, I'll be returning to a different house, which currently I can't imagine calling home. This is the place where I grew up, played with Tuney, found out that I am a witch... This brings to mind painful thoughts of Severus, and I shake myself awake.

Although it looks the same on the outside, all the downstairs rooms are incredibly bare, with boxes and dust sheets lying everywhere. I am glad to find that my bedroom is still as I left it.

"We didn't want to intrude. It means you'll have to spend the week packing though," says my father, setting my trunk on the floor.

"I don't mind," I answer honestly. I am too grateful that I got to see it one last time.

Mum's done the cooking today, and has made my favourite – lasagne. My parents spend the evening quizzing me on the term, something they never tire of, but Tuney is noticeably silent. I try to draw her in by asking her questions about her muggle life, but she refuses to give more than the shortest possible answers.

That week, I spend most days packing the things in my room, deciding what to take to the Potters, what to throw away and what to put in the crates going to our new house in Little Whinging. I also manage to drag Petunia out swimming, which takes a lot of persuasion, but I am nothing if not determined, and when we're there we both enjoy it.

The dreaded day arrives all too soon. Mum and Dad insist on driving me, even though I gained my apparition licence last term. They say it's because it's not very far from the new house, but I think it's because they just want to see what the Potter's place is like – they are childishly curious when it comes to the wizarding world.

"Potter… Isn't that the boy you were always complaining about?" Dad asks suddenly.

I groan and nod. "Yeah. But he's the only person who could take me, and my friends are staying too, so I agreed."

"Okay, sweetie. But you can always call us if you can't cope - we'll figure something out."

We come to the turning and pull up into a large drive. I am immediately struck by the size of the place. When Potter said there was plenty of room, he certainly wasn't kidding. I knew his family was rich, but this? I don't move from the car for a few long seconds.

At last I force myself to get out. We go round to the boot and grab my luggage - my school trunk and the cage of my owl, Athena. It is empty right now as I sent her to Marlene with a letter early the week and told her to meet us here. Dad helps carry the trunk up the wide stairs to the door. We exchange a look.

"Go on then, knock," he tells me. I take a deep breath and raise my hand.

Suddenly, the door swings open and I am left looking like an idiot with my fist in the air before I come to my senses and whip it down, blushing.

"Evans! I saw you arrive," says Potter, grinning at me annoyingly. "Come on in."

He squeezes past me and takes my end of the trunk off me. I hug Athena's cage and stand awkwardly in the hallway. Sirius comes down the stairs and leans on the banister, and James' mother bustles over to greet us as well.

"Lily! So lovely to have you. Is that your trunk? Sukie!"

I hear Mum shriek at the sudden CRACK as a house-elf apparatus into the hall. She is dressed smartly in a black pillowcase with scarlet and gold trim, and with a gold curtain cord as a belt. Gryffindor colours, I realise.

"Yes, Mistress?" Sukie asks.

"Please take Miss Evans' trunk up - she has the blue bedroom overlooking the gardens."

"Yes, Mistress." The elf grasps the handle and, with a click of her fingers, there is another crack and she is gone.

"Wh- What was that?" Mum asks, looking rather pale.

"Just a house-elf. Nothing to worry about," Mrs Potter reassures her. She still looks a bit faint at such blatant abnormality, so I quickly try to change the subject.

"So kind of you to let me stay, Mrs Potter."

"Call me Mia, dear," she tells me, then turns to my parents. "How would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Oh no, I'm sure you already have too many without us too. We couldn't possibly."

"It's really no trouble at all. Fleamont and I would love to get to know you better."

I see from the way my parents look at each other that they want to accept.

"Well, we must be getting to the new house now, but I suppose we could come by later... It really isn't far…"

"That's settled then," Mia says, smiling.

They kiss me goodbye and then leave, and I am left feeling as nervous as I was when I was standing outside, and lonely even though I am surrounded by people. The Potters don't let me mope for long though.

"Why don't you boys show Lily to her room," James' mother says.

They flank me on both sides and start climbing the grand staircase. I try to think of something to break the awkward silence.

"Um… nice place." Great. I sound like a prat, stating the obvious.

James laughs, which calms me. "Yeah. The Potters are an old Pureblood family – it has its advantages, like this house we inherited. And Dad recently invented a new product, Sleekeazy's Hair Potion. He wanted to see if it were possible to make mine lie flat."

"And did it work?

"Yes, actually. But I hated having my hair like that, so I refuse to let him near me with it again. Oh, and you'd better not try it – not so good on redheads. Here we are."

We stop outside a door with a blue plaque already hanging on it. My name is there in white writing, alongside a picture of lily.

Potter reaches across me and opens the door for me, then steps back as I enter and look around.

The paint is blue and the furnishings white. I remember Mrs Potter mentioning the view and cross to the window, setting down Athena's cage on the bedside cabinet next to a delicate blue-and-white china water jug, and lean my elbows on the sill. I am not disappointed.

The plot is huge – there is a patio and modest lawn near the house, then paths lead out into the garden proper; there are fruit trees, exotic flowers and a section dedicated to roses, with fountains and water features dotted throughout. In the distance I can just see Quidditch hoops poking up, in a miniature pitch. The whole thing is surrounded by mountainous hedges to obscure it from prying eyes.

Potter clears his throat. "I'll leave you in a minute to settle in, but there's something first I want to show you."

"Okay," I shrug, and follow him out and up another flight of stairs. We pass Sirius' room, and the next one along is James', which is where we stop. He enters, but I hang back, not entirely trusting him not to be pranking me or worse.

"I've got her here, with Oddball…"

"Athena!" I exclaim, and rush forward. Potter transfers her from his arm to mine and we both pet her for a bit.

"Here, she brought a letter," he says, putting it in my owl-free hand.

"From Marlene," I smile. "Thanks for looking after her for me. Athena, I mean."

"My pleasure."

I suddenly realise that I just disregarded my suspicions and quickly glance around. There is a lot of white and gold paint and a stock of Zonko's boxes, but a glance in the mirror shows me that I haven't turned bright pink or something, and there is nothing dangerous in the open. Except Potter. I back out slowly and return to the safety of my room. With Athena safely settled in her cage, I lie on my bed and slit open the letter.

 _Dear Lily,_ Marlene writes,

 _I expect that by the time you read this you'll be at Potter Mansion. Good luck and try not to kill each other! I can't wait to join you all there._

 _Australia is lovely. It's winter here, so not too hot – we've still done loads of muggle activities like surfing, though. And later we're going to visit Uluru. Dad says there are loads of magic stories related to it. I'll regale you with all of them when I return._

 _Give my love to everyone. Remember it's only for a couple of weeks._

 _Love, Marlene xx_

I smile and fold the paper up again. Then with a sigh I get up and start unpacking. I am nearly done when I hear the doorknocker rapping against the door. Deciding that my socks can stay in my trunk for now, I go downstairs to see who it is.

"Emmy!" I hug her as soon as she finishes greeting the Potters. It's a relief not to be alone with the worst of the Marauders anymore. Remus and Mary arrives soon afterwards, and we go through the motions of getting them settled in. Now that we are all here, I feel a lot more relaxed.

Maybe staying at the Potters will be fun after all... although I'm still not convinced.

 **A/N: Chapter 2 is up! Within the week! Now if you've enjoyed it enough to make it to the end you can reward me with a nice review to tell me what you think ;) Please? And if you haven't, then you're probably not reading this, but review anyway and tell me why - Nightshade**


	3. Always

**A/N: Chapter 3 finally up! I hope you enjoy reading it and that it isn't too cheesy. Please review and tell me absolutely anything I can improve or typos for me to fix, or say whatever you like. I really do care enough to go round and make it better. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed already, it always makes my day. Please enjoy!**

My parents return at around six that evening. We haven't done much yet except settle in and have a tour of the house, although so far we've only had time to see the main rooms, due to the size, and a persistent drizzle set in this afternoon so we haven't been able to go into the gardens. I'm not surprised – this is Britain after all – but I hope the weather will improve.

We are shown into the dining room, and the house-elves soon cause dinner to appear magically. Conversation breaks out up and down the table. My parents are asking Mia and Fleamont about wizarding careers, and I discuss with the others what we want our next DADA professor to be like.

I nod in agreement that we need to learn more about Dark creatures – our third year professor was terrible – as I serve myself.

"Pass the potatoes please, Potter," I ask.

James and his father both reach for it. James pauses and looks at me.

"You know, Evans, if you're going to stay in the House of Potter, you might need to start calling me by my first name."

"I would never call your dad by just his surname though. I only ever mean you."

"I know, but I am used to it from school and work," Fleamont shrugs. "I can't help reacting."

"Very well," I say reluctantly. "I will call you James. For now."

He smiles. "Then may I call you Lily?"

I sigh in defeat. "Fine. It would be rather ridiculous if you didn't, I guess."

I tear my eyes away from his smirking face before the urge to slap it off becomes too great and try to turn and talk to Emmy, but she is engaged in conversation with Sirius. I glance round again.

James is still staring at me. Great. I glare at him, until he blinks and looks away. I could swear he's blushing slightly, but that makes no sense. He just does it to annoy me, right?

I am wrenched out my thoughts as I jump at the sudden _BOOM_ that shakes the house.

"What the-" Mum starts, bewildered.

The Potters jump to their feet, wands drawn, and race to the windows. I follow and gasp at the sight that meets my eyes. A group of black-cloaked, silver masked figures are firing hexes at the house. I count about six.

"The wards are still holding up, but at this rate they'll be weakening quickly," Mr Potter says. "We must be ready for them. James, take Mr and Mrs Evans to safety."

He nods and drags them from the room, ignoring their anxious questions.

"Mia and I will take up position outside. You kids stay inside. That's an order, Sirius."

"What? No! I want to help!"

"You can help by staying inside, out of our way, so we don't have to worry about you. We'll be fine." He gives Sirius a look that adds, _if you take one step outside I will personally make you sorry you were born._

James returns before it turns into an argument. His parents nod to us and leave, extinguishing the lights as they go. Fleamont ruffles his son's hair as he passes, and Mia pulls him into a quick, tight hug. We look on, scared, although none of us would admit it even if we were paid to.

"Are my parents okay?" I asked him anxiously when they had gone.

"Yeah," he said, glancing over his shoulder, no doubt worrying about his own. "We can't apparate out, but there's a safe room under the house."

I nod, but I can't bring myself to speak so I move over to the window and twitch the curtain aside enough to peek out. The Death Eaters are starting to make holes in the shield. The Potters are standing, wands raised. They don't bother trying to repair the shield, instead waiting until the holes are big enough, when they begin to send hexes through, causing the sorcerers to switch to defence.

James comes to my side and looks out to. His wand is in his hand and he quietly eases the window open a fraction.

"What are you doing?" I hiss, grabbing his wrist.

"I want to be ready to help. I'm not gonna leave them unprotected if- if…"

My thoughts flash to my own parents, locked in the basement, probably scared stiff and confused. I draw my own wand grimly.

"But they said-" Mary began.

"They told us not to go outside. We're not disobeying," Sirius said, moving to open the next window as silently as possible. Emmie joins him, and Remus and Mary assume guard on our other side.

We stood in the darkened room, not speaking, tense, watching for what seemed like forever. I tried to follow the flashes and streaks of light, but I've had too little practice at duelling and this is more skilful than anything I've ever seen, all the spells being nonverbal.

Suddenly Fleamont is thrown back several feet and James opens his mouth, about to cast a spell.

" _Expecto Patronum!_ " A silver lioness bursts from Mia's wand and races to claw the Death Eaters. James freezes at stares at his mum, astounded. I do, too. She looks amazingly fierce. I had no idea that such a sweet woman had it in her.

The Death Eaters stumble back. They start to apparate away, undoubtedly cursing every painful squeeze of the way, but there is no way to resist the lioness patronus.

Sirius starts cheering, and the other girls join in. But James is noticeably silent, and my gaze is drawn to him. He is shaking slightly, and I glimpse a few tears.

"Are you okay?" I ask quietly.

"What? Yeah, fine," he mumbles, turning away. Clearly he is anything _but_ , but since we're barely friends I don't push it. I'll let him have his foolish pride.

He faces me again, red-rimmed eyes confirming my suspicions, but he manages a weak smile.

"C'mon, let's find them."

We rush outside and James pulls both his parents into a tight embrace. I like how he isn't embarrassed about showing affection. I think the war has done that to a lot of people.

"Now I want my mum and dad back," I demand as soon as they're done.

James leads me down a small passageway and flight of stone stairs. He takes a key from the pocket of his jeans and unlocks the door in front of us – it's protected against unlocking charms. He opens it and reveals the pantry.

"I thought this was the safe room?" I say.

"Oh yes, creepy staircase, magically defended door. That would be a bit obvious, even for the Death Eaters," he answers, glancing at me.

I shrug. "Good point."

He confidently finds a few hidden levers and switches them. Then he slides some shelves and cupboards aside until it reveals enough of the wall that, when he pushes the right bricks, it shimmers and forms a door, with a keypad. He glances at his watch and punches in a code.

Finally, the door swings open.

"Well, that was complicated," I say.

James actually laughs out loud. "Yeah. It's a lot quicker if there's no-one already in there. As it is I had to use a formula involving the time and date, so the code always changes."

"I want to know what all that was about," Mum says as soon as she emerges. "Who were those people? Why were they attacking this house? If Lily isn't going to be safe with you-"

"I don't think it was personal," James says hurriedly. "I mean, my dad owns a hair potion company. Probably just a random attack in this war."

"War?!"

I glare at James. "Just a few wizards turned bad, quite minor. The Ministry of Magic is taking care of it."

Actually the Ministry is doing a terrible job. People disappear every week and Voldemort's forces keep growing. But there's no way I'm telling them that – I couldn't bear it if they forced me to leave the wizarding world, like I heard happened a couple of Hufflepuffs last year.

James seems to get what I'm trying to do. "It's okay, Mrs Evans. I promise you that Lily will be perfectly safe here. We have strong wards and my parents are proficient duellers."

We calm them down enough for me to take them back upstairs, while James stays behind to lock up the safe room.

Mr and Mrs Potter are repairing the shield when we join the group again. When they finish we return inside and have the rest of dinner, which Sukie the house-elf has just reheated. It is much quieter – everyone has a thousand questions, but nobody asks them. We retreat into the living room and Sirius brings out a pack of Exploding Snap cards.

Our hosts try to keep conversation going on trivial matters, but I can only think of the deadly flashes, the lioness bursting from Mia's wand, Mr Potter lying on the ground perfectly still… I shiver, and when I look around at the faces of my friends, I can see that none of their hearts are in it either. It is almost a relief when Mum and Dad excuse themselves and drive off, though not before they had made quite sure that I knew that I could come home at any point. I have no intention of doing so, however many attacks we get, but I smile and reassure them that I won't hesitate to if it becomes too dangerous.

I don't think they believe me either, but they don't argue.

I return to my room, officially because I want to feed Athena, but really I want to be on my own where I don't have to pretend that everything is fine when there is so much wrong with the world. I sit on the edge of my bed, staring into space.

I hear the bedsprings creak as Mary curls up by my side. The others trickle in, one by one. We don't talk, only wanting the comfort of knowing that the others are there without having to put on a brave face. Emmy, Mary and I know each other too well to be fooled, and the same goes for the Marauders.

"Do you really think there's any hope of winning this war? You-Know-Who's supporters keep growing." Mary asks eventually.

"There's always hope," I say, because I know that that's what she wants to hear. "Those Death Eaters were driven off just now. We'll do it again. I'm going to start fighting, as soon as I can. We can do it if we stick together."

"I want to fight, too," says Mary. "I just don't know how."

"We should practise duelling, learn more defence spells," I say, remembering how I felt looking out earlier. "Would your parents help, James?"

"They might. I mean, they're not keen for me to take up a role in this war that will put me in danger. But they know they can't stop me and we're all adults now. They'll definitely help us with defence."

I think of something else that's been nagging at me. "How come Mia's Patronus drove away the Death Eaters? I thought that they only worked on dark creatures like Dementors?"

"That's their chief use, aside from taking messages, certainly," Remus answers. "But that's because nothing else works on such creatures. A particularly powerful one, like hers, was able to fulfil its fundamental role as a protector, in her desperation."

Her desperation. Suddenly I imagine myself in her place, with each of the people I love flashing through my mind, taking the place of Fleamont. Except there is nothing I can do, because I don't know how. It terrifies me.

Fresh determination fills me. "I will train. And then I will fight. To my last breath, I will fight to protect those I love. Always."

"Always," James echoes.

"Always."

"Always."

"Always."

"Always."

I look round, at each and every one of my friends. Their faces are serious, and blaze with Gryffindor fire. I start to believe what I said earlier. There is hope, so long as we fight together.


	4. Holidays

I awake early the next morning after a restless sleep, plagued by nightmares, and don't feel like trying to drowse off again. The weather outside matches my mood, with rain pouring down all around. I sigh and dress in loose, comfortable clothes, and set out to find the kitchen.

I make it there with only one wrong turning, and find Sukie already hard at work.

"Hi, Sukie. What does a person have to do to get breakfast in this place?"

"Good morning Miss Lily," she replies cheerfully. "Miss Euphemia insists that the children get their own breakfast, but I will help you find what you need."

"Thanks," I say, and ten minutes later I sit down at the kitchen table with toast and orange juice. I am halfway done when James enters, his hair still wet and tousled from the shower. He reaches up to ruffle it as soon as he sees me, but it just ends up sticking out ridiculously and I struggle not to smirk.

"Morning," I say.

"I didn't think anyone would be down so early," he says, surprised.

I shrug. "Couldn't sleep."

He sighs. "Me neither." He sits opposite me with his cereal. "So what do you want to do today?"

"I thought we could start on the duelling practice, while the weather's horrible."

"Good plan. We can move the furniture in the loft."

When we finish, James asks Sukie to send the others up to the loft when they've had breakfast, and he lead me upstairs. There are three storeys plus the loft. It reminds me of the Gryffindor common room, with dull red paint and squashy couches giving it a cosy feel, while skylights provide plenty of light.

"This is where Sirius and I hang out – Mum and Dad don't come up here very often. Shall we move everything against the walls?"

I get out my wand and start. Everything is so much easier now we're of age, so it doesn't take long, and I start casting protective spells on things like the Wizarding Wireless so we don't destroy everything, and James soon catches on. We add a few soundproofing spells as well.

"One last thing," I say. " _Engorgio._ " I enlarge a couple of cushions. "For practicing stunning spells."

"Good thinking. Nice job, Lils."

I scowl at him. "I said you could call me Lily, not Lils."

He grins. "Or what?"

I grab another cushion and chuck it at him, hitting him square in the face and knocking his glasses down his nose. Before he can retaliate, I dive at him and tickle him until he collapses.

"Mercy, Evans, mercy! I take it back, I won't call you Lils!" he wheezes eventually. I tickle some more for good measure and laugh triumphantly.

Remus enters at that moment. "Okay there, James?" he asks. Potter is still lying on the floor gasping for breath.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a torture session with Lily here. Take it from me, friend – never annoy her."

"What did you do this time? Wait, never mind. I don't want to know." Remus looked round appreciatively. "I like what you've done. This for duelling?"

"Yeah. We're just waiting for the others to get here."

The others drift in one by one. James gets bored waiting and we are already practising nonverbal disarming spells. I manage to beat James twice more than he gets me, but Remus is better than either of us.

"How do you so that so fast?" I ask in frustration after my wand goes flying for the sixth time. "It always takes me another second."

"Hmm… Disarm James and I'll look."

I turn and think _expelliarmus_ as I flick my wand. Remus watches critically.

"Move your wand in a tighter spiral. Here, try again." He picks up James' wand and tosses it to him.

I attempt to do as he suggests. It takes a couple of goes, but I can soon tell that it is more efficient and focused.

"Thanks, Remus, that really helps. You make a good teacher," I say. He flushes at the praise.

"I think I'd enjoy that," he says.

"Is that what you want to do then?" I ask. "Teach defence?"

"That would be cool." I see a glimmer of hope in his eyes, but suddenly it fades and I am left wondering if I imagined it, because his tone is suddenly tinged with bitterness. "I'm never going to be able to, though."

I open my mouth to question this, but at that moment Sirius arrives and starts commenting on everything and generally being noisy, and when I finish rolling my eyes at him, the opportunity is gone.

Over the course of the morning, we cover disarming, stunning and the full body-bind hex. They're simple spells, but with our sketchy DADA education and trying to do everything non-verbally it's enough to keep us occupied.

Finally, we flop down and lie around until Sukie calls us for lunch. As we eat, the sun finally breaks through the clouds.

"Who wants to go flying?" James proposes as soon as he sees it. Typical.

Sirius and Emmy agree immediately, and Remus and Mary only take a little coaxing.

"Lily?" asks James, turning to me as the last one left.

"She doesn't have to come if she doesn't want to," Mary says quickly. I shoot her a grateful glance.

"I think I'll just stay here and, um, start on Slughorn's essay," I say.

"There is no way I'm letting you do homework while we go out." Damn Potter, why does he always have to be so persistent? "Why don't you want to come?"

"I…" I can't tell him the real reason. It's too embarrassing. "I didn't bring a broom." There. That's true.

"Not a problem," he answers, literally dragging me out to the broom-shed. He and Sirius claim theirs, then he gestures to the rest. Of course the Potters would have numerous brooms. "Take your pick."

I lick my lips. There's no way of getting out of this. I choose an old model that should be fairly slow.

"Terrible choice - that thing's at least 20 years old," James says, scowling at the Swiftstick I'm holding. He swaps it for a Cleansweep 5. "Here, take this. It's almost as old, but a much smoother ride."

"Thanks," I say weakly. I push off and hover a couple of feet above the ground. James zooms straight up and shows off with dives and rolls, letting out a whoop of pleasure.

"Come on up!" he yells.

"Nah, I'm alright," I say. "I'm just, you know, admiring these roses." I fly closer to the bush for affect.

Because yes, that's right. I, Lily Evans, proud Gryffindor, am afraid of heights. Please don't tell, it's mortifying.

Potter stares at me. "You're afraid of heights, aren't you?"

Well damn. I close my eyes and groan in embarrassment.

"You are!" He laughs incredulously. "I didn't think you were afraid of anything."

I stare up at him. I'm really not sure what to think of that. But he's kicked my pride enough to get me to rise up a little, to maybe six feet in the air. I feel a bit queasy even at that height, and my muscles are shaking with tension. I try to turn, and the jerky motion make my heart jump and I clutch the handle even tighter than before to keep from falling off.

"Look, if it's that bad, you don't have to do this. I won't think any the worse of you," James says. I'm almost tempted, but the majority of me is too stubborn for my own good and fixes him with my best glare.

"I'm fine. Just a little out of practice. I haven't flown since having lessons in first year."

"Evans…" James starts, rolling his eyes.

" _Potter,_ " I mimic.

He sighs. "Have it your way. But I'm going to teach you how to fly. It's painful to watch you." He ignores my protests. "You'll probably feel more comfortable in the air when you can handle the broom better."

I can't argue with that, so reluctantly, I shut up and start listening.

"First, you need to relax."

I frown. I feel like I'll fall if I loosen up at all.

"Trust me. You'll actually be safer this way."

I try to release a bit of tension, and find that actually I do feel more balanced, and when I try turning again, it's much smoother than before. Also, as we proceed, I find myself focusing on the technique and the fear is pushed to the back of my mind. I can feel myself becoming addicted to the satisfaction of executing a good move.

"We'll make a flyer of you yet," James tells me as we land. I grin back, high on exhilaration. I'm still scared of flying, but I have no intention of playing Quidditch fifty feet in the air, so I can cope as long as we stay down low. Besides, I'm a perfectionist.

And that's pretty much how it goes for the next couple of weeks. We practice duelling every morning, and soon rope Mia in to teach us, which is a big help. Then we fly or explore the village if it's dry or stay inside with exploding snap and the Marauder's latest pranks. And James almost never annoys me, which leads to inner turmoil and confusion on my part. I'm so happy when Marlene arrives at the end of the first week, fresh from Australia with a bunch of stories to tell. She's my closest confidante and a rock to cling to when Potter has been acting like a gentleman for the entire day and not giving me a chance to make sarcastic comments.

On the last day before we leave, we get a few uninvited guests for breakfast: enough school owls for each of us, carrying the usual book list. I turn the envelope upside-down to try to jiggle it out.

A flash of gold slips through my fingers onto the table.

I frown and pick up the metal badge and turn it over in my hand so I can read the words.

" _Marlene!_ " I squawk. She looks up from her own letter. I thrust it at her, unable to speak.

"That's great, Lily! I'm not surprised." She reaches across to hug me.

"What is it?" Mary asks, trying to see.

"Lily's been made Head Girl," Marlene tells her matter-of-factly.

"'Course she has," James says, sliding his letter out. "Who d'you think will be Head Boy?"

"Um, James…" Sirius tries to get his attention.

"Yeah?"

"Something fell out with your letter."

James leans forwards to pick it up. "Oh, no. No, no way. I'm going to owl Dumbledore and tell him that there's been a mistake."

Sirius looks at the Head Boy badge before bursting into laughter. "Aw, sucks! It seems like it's fallen to me to keep up the Marauder reputation.

"It's not funny!" James exclaims, but the look of desperation is so comic, given the circumstances, that I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing myself.

"I've been made Quidditch Captain," Emmy comments.

"Well, _that's_ alright. Care to swap?"

"Right, because I'd make a great Head _Boy._ " She rolls her eyes. "Even so – no chance, I'm looking forward to bossing you and Sirius around."

James gives up and flops onto a chair. "I still don't understand why it's _me._ Remus would be so much better. Or that Ravenclaw boy – Derek Boot."

"Sometimes what makes a good prefect isn't the same as what makes a good Head Boy," says Marlene. "And it's only a guess, but I think that Dumbledore might feel that Gryffindors are the best leaders with everything that's going on."

We all stop laughing at the reminder of You-Know-Who and the increasingly frequent attacks.

"Way to kill the mood, Marlene," I say weakly. "But that does make some kind of sense."

"But, why _me_?" James repeats. "Still... I suppose there is one good thing about this," he continues, looking straight at me and raising his eyebrows. "Extra time to annoy you, Lily!"

I groan.

 **A.N. And there you have it! A bit fluffy, perhaps, but I think next chapter will be darker, maybe a confrontation with Severus... As usual, review please! I'd really like to have more reviews than chapters, and they all matter and I never take offense. I can see how many people visit, and it's definitely more than two! (Thanks again to the pair of you though, if you're still reading).**

 **I'm sorry if my updates are slow, with school starting next week. I'll try to get there eventually ;)**


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